Part One: Navigating the Dual Working Parent Life: Insights from James Vongdara

Being a dual working parent is a delicate and intricate balancing act that necessitates meticulous coordination and open communication. 

This is a two-part insight, into a fabulous dual-working family in Sydney. Let me introduce James Vongdara, an incredibly supportive Husband and loving Dad. James provides us with his lived experience on striking a harmonious balance between their professional responsibilities and family life.

Our family approach to balance

Balancing a career and family life is a continuous work in progress. James emphasises the importance of organisation and daily communication in their dual-working parenting dynamic. Despite being a free spirit before having children, James now understands the need for structure, shared calendars have now become their lifeline! The calendars allow him and Natalie to book personal activities, such as James' kayak fishing or Natalie's karaoke nights with friends, while still ensuring they meet their professional and family commitments.

They understand the need for flexibility, taking turns in supporting each other and James explains that they adapt week by week, navigating the challenges that arise. They understand that sometimes one of them may have to take the short straw.

“Throughout my life I’ve been a free spirit, before kids I was spontaneous and loved that about my life and becoming a parent I wanted to keep the spontaneity, I didn’t like structure! 

Where as now, I live and breathe by my shared calendars.”

Drawing from his experience of taking eight months of paternity leave across their two children, James expresses confidence in his ability to handle any situation that comes their way. Mutual respect and understanding play a crucial role in their partnership. They share a deep empathy for one another's experiences as they have both lived the realities of being working parents. 

Making the most of our time to together

James knows first hand it’s hard to incorporate spontaneity into family life. The weekends have naturally become more structured with kids; swim school and social commitments on Saturdays, then often a slower start on Sundays allowing for peaceful family moments in the morning before transitioning to meal prep and planning for the week ahead. James finds that this natural flow allows them to make the most of their time together and maintain a balance between quality family moments and necessary preparations.

An integral aspect of negotiating his current role was the ability for James to allocate one day a week exclusively to his children. Known as "Daddy Days," James Fridays now consist of fun- filled activities such as visiting grandparents, exploring the park, and fostering meaningful connections with his kids. These cherished moments not only create lasting memories but also strengthen the bond between them.

From the playground to the office

James’ children are a constant reminder of the importance of having fun, both at home and in the workplace. He believes in infusing a sense of joy and playfulness into his professional life, encouraging his team to approach work with a lighthearted attitude. 

“To be grateful and curious, these are amazing traits that kids display all the time that can naturally shift into the workplace.”

Parenthood has brought out his inner child, allowing him to see the world through fresh eyes and appreciate the wonder of everyday experiences. 

Personal growth through the parenting journey

James shares two key lessons that have shaped his approach to life and work since becoming a Dad. 

• Lesson one: When their first child was born, James experienced burnout by taking on too much at both home and work without considering his own boundaries. This experience prompted him to reassess his work habits and accept the lifestyle changes that parenthood brings.

• Lesson two: Occurred when he had to carry both children up a steep hill to their home. Feeling exhausted, he realised the importance of prioritising his health and fitness to be fully present for his family. This realisation prompted him to commit to consistent exercise, which not only improved his physical well-being but has also sharpened his mind. 

James' personal experiences with burnout has made him acutely aware of the importance of mental health in the workplace. As a Leader, he actively checks in on the wider team and encourages open conversations about mental health,always striving to create a supportive environment.. He leads by example, sharing his own struggles and victories, and emphasises the significance of empathy and ongoing communication in fostering a positive work culture.

Inspiring future parents

James is a strong advocate for equal parenting and work-life balance. He uses his voice to encourage more Dads to take parental leave and pushes for its normalisation. A powerful impact can be made through sharing genuine experiences and challenges.  

“When I became the second person to take secondary-carer paternity leave, doubts about its potential impact on my career arose. However, Natalie reminded me that these were the same concerns all mothers faced when taking parental leave.”

Now, I encourage fathers to embrace this opportunity, knowing firsthand the benefits it brings.

James is excited to witness the positive shift happening, with more men actively engaging in parenting and establishing stronger connections with their children. To keep the momentum going, James believes its essential to create spaces for men to communicate openly about their challenges and experiences. This is something that doesn’t come very naturally to men, to share their struggles or articulate their needs. And that is why he leads by example, sharing both victories and setbacks, and aligning his actions with his values and beliefs.

James parting words: “Look after yourself, YOU are the crystal ball.”

“It’s a mindset shift, we start by thinking the kids are the crystal ball, we plan our whole lives around them, when do they need dinner, etc.. but this has shifted for me.” 

James encourages parents to carve out time for activities that recharge them, whether it's going for walks, meditating, exercising, or engaging in hobbies. By finding their flow state through self-care, parents can tackle challenges and work together more effectively.

James's openness in his experience of parenthood so far, exemplifies the ongoing journey we as parents are on, constantly needing to adapt and find new ways to strike a balance that works for our individual families.