Parenting Wisdom: No Rules, Just Your Path
Embarking on the journey of parenthood while simultaneously climbing the corporate ladder is no small feat.
Sarah, an Executive, a Mum and a fierce advocate for Equal Parenting, shares her remarkable journey of being promoted while pregnant and returning to work just seven weeks after her daughter, Adriana, came home from the NICU.
Sarah sheds light on the factors that influenced her decisions and the challenges she faced during this pivotal transition.
You've had quite a journey, being promoted while pregnant and returning to work just 7 weeks after your daughter came home from NICU, it’s quite remarkable. What factors influenced your decision, and what challenges did you face during that transition?
“I had the incredible opportunity to work for an exceptional woman and CEO who offered me an Executive role while I was pregnant. Stepping into this position was daunting as I lacked executive experience, and being pregnant added another layer of complexity. Her unwavering support meant everything to me and felt like a strong endorsement that she believed in my capability.”
“If you've ever been offered a role that seems 'too senior,' you know the tendency to talk yourself out of it. Women often struggle to back themselves in such situations. In those moments of self-doubt, having someone you respect affirm, "I believe you can do this," makes a world of difference.”
When Adriana arrived so early, I was terrified. She was in the NICU, it was during Covid. I wasn’t allowed visitors. So most days, I would visit her for a few hours at the hospital, then come home without a baby. To keep my mind off that, I worked a few hours a day.
Once Adriana came home, I didn’t even think about work. I didn’t have to think about work - I felt no pressure to return. Although, my love for my job led me to plan for a short parental leave. Returning to work was challenging, and those initial days were some of the toughest and longest. The notion of 'sleep when the baby sleeps' wasn't feasible for me - if I wasn’t sleeping, I was working, if I wasn’t working, I was feeding, if I wasn’t feeding, I was changing nappies, or just trying to cuddle my baby.
Looking back, the support from my husband, family, boss, and colleagues was crucial. It truly took a village to navigate those early days and be where I am today.”
Igniting Workplace Transformation
“Upon my return to the office, I found myself pumping every 3-4 hours, unfortunately in the less-than-ideal toilet cubicles. It was uncomfortable, noisy and embarrassing. It didn’t take long for me to lose my supply, mainly because I kept putting off the dreaded office pump.
The turning point came last year when a colleague from our Melbourne office inquired about breastfeeding facilities. Admitting that we had none made me realise it was an unacceptable answer. I approached the Head of Projects division and insisted on a dedicated breastfeeding room in our head office. Almost immediately, detailed designs were sent my way, ensuring a fully equipped space with a lockable door, microwave, fridge, and even an armchair – a comprehensive solution, not a half-hearted effort.
Sometimes when I want to vocalise a change I want to see, I start doubting myself. Reflecting on this experience, I recall my assertiveness in dealing with the Head of Projects, instead of my typical "heyyyyy, sorry to bother you!" style, I was confident and insistent.
When he agreed, I do remember thinking ‘wow that was easier than I thought….prompting the realisation that advocating for change need not be as daunting as it seems. This confidence boost has stayed with me, serving as a reminder to speak up when I sense something isn't right.”
Juggling work and parenting is no easy feat. Can you share some real, unfiltered moments where you felt the weight of this juggle and how you managed to keep things afloat?
“During Adriana's initial year in childcare, for about 4 months I had the childcare phone number saved as “do not answer!” It felt like every week, they were calling me asking to pick her up because she had a runny nose, or a cough, or something (which, as we all know, was probably picked up at childcare). Every time their number would pop up, I would get so stressed, knowing my day was going to be completely thrown into a spin. (FYI, I always did answer the phone, I just really didn’t want to!)
I also remember the days I would be in global executive meetings, and Adriana burst into my home office, demanding my immediate attention. Explaining to your baby girl who just wants a cuddle that “mummy can’t cuddle you now, she’s in a meeting” is the absolute worst feeling. I’ve had to repeatedly remind myself that many working mothers, much like me, lack the same level of support or flexibility. and I need to be grateful for everything I have, keep pushing through.”
With your husband working part-time due to childcare needs, how do you two navigate shared responsibilities? Any anecdotes that capture the essence of your dynamic as a parenting team?
“We don’t have much room for gender stereotypical roles in our house. We have zero structure. I mean that in a good way.”
“We are open and adaptable to whatever the day brings, both of us do the cooking, cleaning, washing, pick ups, drop offs.We both expect each other to contribute in equal ways.
He has been a huge support, and one of the only reasons I am where I am today. We had no access to childcare on the days we needed due to waitlists, so he changed to part time so I could continue in my career. He is a fantastic role model for our girls, because he has shown them (even more so than I have) how gender stereotypes can be broken.”
If you were to share a piece of parenting wisdom, something passed down or discovered through your own experiences, what would it be?
“Imagine how different my life would be if I thought:
“I can’t be an exec, I’m too young and inexperienced”
“I can’t take this job, I’m pregnant”
“What will people think of me if I go back to work so soon after having this baby”
“My husband can’t go part time, he’s a man”
“I can’t ask my work to build a room for breastfeeding because of my experience”
“I can’t express my views about the challenges of being a mum, people might find it weird”
We are always judging ourselves and worried about how others will judge us. As a working mum, things are already hard without adding that additional layer of guilt or shame. We need to do what is right for us, and right for our children. And we need to be vocal about the support we need to do it.”
“There are no ‘rules’ in life.”
Sarah is a shining example that parenthood and career aspirations need not be mutually exclusive; they can coexist, thrive, and lead to personal and professional fulfilment.
